Thursday, October 23, 2008


The most difficult pain a man can suffer is to have knowledge of much and power over little.

I haven't blogged much lately, just in case you couldn't tell by the almost totl lack of new material the past couple of months.  Things on my job have been really stressful lately.  The grant funded program I've worked in for the last year was defunded by the state.  That sucks.  What made it even worse is that this contingency wasn't adequately planned for.  Several of the partner agencies scrambled in an attempt to make it go on, but one was severely underfunded and simply couldn't pony up the money.  

So, it's been up to the line staff to try to cobble something serviceable until a new funding source is found with no direction from anyone on a management level.   I've felt like I had been given a task to do and had the necessary tools placed just outside my reach.   I've lost sleep, been so stressed that I can't concentrate enough to read anything more involved than a magazine article, and have been useless to those around me that count on me.  I've had enough.  I put in a transfer request at work and it was granted.  

I'm a bit apprehensive in that I'm stepping out of a domain that I've operated in for approaching 7 years, forensic treatment, and will be moving to just standard probation. That being said, it feels like the clouds are starting to clear.  I'm sleeping a bit better and can actually speak in more than just pidgin English.   

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